I’m terrible at letting go.
I don’t say goodbye because I don’t like endings.
I google how movies end before I watch them.
I rip the last page out of books and staple it to the front – just so I know. I always need to know.
But I always hang on too long.
I got coffee with a friend who, 2 hours in, said to me: Jen, sometimes I think you just ramble and ramble because you’re scared of what happens when conversation ends.
She was right. I was tired. I had two cups off coffee but I talked all of the caffeine out of my body. But I wanted to hold on. To the moment. To the conversation. To the right now.
I recently had to let go of a few different people, places and things. I didn’t have a choice. If it was up to me I would have wrapped my lanky arms around those nouns like a kindergartener who doesn’t want their mommy to leave them at school for the day. But those people, places, and things, ran away from me. I was too slow to chase them. I screamed, No don’t go, but they did.
Yesterday, as I sat in a different coffee shop, with a new handful of people, places, and things I’ve started to hold on to, I found myself giggling. One guy at the table next to me rolled his eyes. One lady got up and moved. I looked nuts. I looked bonkers. I looked New York City crazy.
Maybe, finally, I’ve learned to let go. That’s a lie. I still hold on pretty strong, pretty fast, pretty long after I should. But i’m getting better at saying goodbye before hanging up the phone and letting movies run their course without knowing too much and closing my eyes, my heart, my mind to people, places and things that have done the same to me.
Learn this. Repeat this. Save this in your personal development file:
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer aids you, develops you or makes you happy.
Something even bigger, better, stronger, faster, is waiting for you across the street.
I pinky promise that’s the truth.
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