Today's guest post is from a new friend of mine named Allie! She reached out to me with TWO awesome guest posts - and today i'm sharing one i think we can all relate to: Learning how to be OKAY with being single. It's not an easy thing to do & i hope her advice helps you realize that being single can be a very awesome, and fun thing to be!
As the year draws to a close and many find themselves pondering what this year’s resolution will be, I propose a mass resolution that will never go out of style (or cost you money like that gym membership you’re gonna let go to waste). What I’m talking about is ditching any insecurities that come along with being single, either for a short or prolonged period of time, and accepting and enjoying the fact that we have no one but ourselves to please.
The common statement is “acceptance is the first step,” and I firmly believe it to hold true in this situation. So you just got dumped. It may hurt a lot and you may feel terrible (and I’m not trying to diminish your emotional peril) but you might move on quicker if you just take in the fact that you’re single now. You’ll feel better knowing that being solo is a part of life rather than feeling like you’re walking around as half a person. Or maybe you’ve been single for a long, long, long time now and just can’t shake that feeling of alone-ness. Just own it! Admit to yourself that you are one person and shouldn’t have to feel more alone just because you don’t have a significant other.
Once you’ve accepted the fact that you’re single, don’t dwell on it. It’s really not a complicated idea to fathom. Google defines single as “an individual person or thing rather than part of a pair or a group.” And that’s exactly what you are, just an individual in the personal sense. However, if you look at the bigger picture, you’re never single. You’re a part of a group of friends, a member of a club, a part of a family, an engager in some activity that others happen to engage in. Emotionally, you’re single. But in all other aspects of life, you’re far from it.
Being single means you can do what you want, any time you want without any fear of judgment from your most intimate being. So if you wanna try some funky Thai food that you know your ex would’ve hated, you now have the perfect excuse to try it. If you’ve always wanted to try a pixie cut a la Miley Cyrus or Lena Dunham, go for it! No one has to live with it but yourself.
And if anyone else tries to tell you otherwise, ignore what they say. Seriously.
If your friends are on your case constantly about being the only single one in the group, they need a reality check.
If Nanna endlessly badgers you for not having a boyfriend at every family gathering, just smile and nod while rolling your eyes.
No one should dictate what makes you happy and should suggest that you being with another person would make you better off.
The last piece of advice I can offer is don’t look for love.
As someone who’s been single for well, forever (granted, I am only twenty years old) I can say that you’ll enjoy every aspect of your life more when you’re not constantly worried about if Mr.—or Miss! —Right is in the room. If he is, trust me, he’ll find you because he’ll notice you smiling and laughing and think you’re the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen.
Allie Volpe is a writer, podcaster, triathlete and cookie connoisseur from South Jersey. When she’s not trying to emulate Lena Dunham in every way imaginable, you can find her interpretive dancing in bars, convenient stores and street corners. She encourages all forms of social media stalking: @allieevolpe