GUEST POST: WHY I SWIPE LEFT

Share the goods

My name is Ilana and I’m a hopeless romantic.

There should be a support group for people like me. I believe in fairy tales and happily ever after. My kindle is filled with Nicholas Sparks and Emily Giffin novels, and I can watch Say Yes to the Dress for hours on end.I follow The Knot on Instagram and I’ve already decided my dress will be lace. I’m a planner (and maybe a bit of a control freak) and I may or may not have a “perfect life” timeline in the back of my mind.

The last thing I want to tell my children in 10 or 12 years (there’s that timeline for you) is that I met their dad on this silly app all the kids were using in my day. I want to tell them an epic love story, how we met when I spilled coffee all over him at Starbucks or as he held the subway doors open for me on the 6. I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t even consider online dating until at least 37 – which happens to be the age I somehow made my best guy friend agree to marry me if we’re both still single.

But then, I caved. Enter Hinge, JSwipe, and Tinder. Take your pick.

If anything, I told myself, it would give way to some entertainment. I’m probably a little too picky and there’s a chance I just passed over my future husband, but here are 8 reasons I swipe left:

 

1. We have less than three mutual friends and I need to be able to vet you. Not trying to get catfished here.

2. There’s a pretty girl in all of your pictures. I’m assuming she’s your girlfriend so therefore you’re a horrible person or you’re getting a little too cozy with your sister.

3. You’re shirtless and flexing. Stop showing off.

4. Clearly, you’re lying. Really Constantine and Mario, you grew up in a Conservative Jewish family?

5. I’m being a snob. For some reason, I don’t like where you went to school. Maybe you beat my Alma Mater in the Final Four or I have a bad association because there’s someone I really don’t like who roamed the same college halls as you. Sorry.

6. We went to high school together. I haven’t seen you in 4 years and I’d like to keep it that way.

7. Selfies. How much do you love yourself?

8. You’re rocking a murse. Enough said.

Happy swiping!

 

Meet The Things I Learned From Blogger, Ilana!

563117_10151854162672421_622745289_n

Ilana Fromm hails from Westchester, New York, where she was raised on Disney movies and Nicholas Sparks novels. She spent the last four years at University of Wisconsin-Madison eating her body weight in cheese curds and falling head over heels in love with the Midwest. With a bit of wanderlust, Ilana has two goals in mind for wherever life takes her next: become the next Carrie Bradshaw and conquer every brunch spot in the city of her choosing.

 

Sign up for my Monday Morning Madness newsletter and I’ll send you my top 5 favorite chapters from All My Friends are Engaged!

Make Monday Morning’s ROCK!

* indicates required

Email Format

I’m Jen Glantz. I’ve been a published writer for over 13 years, spilling my words into magazines (ranging from style to scuba diving), newspapers, websites and even this one time, a speech, for someone who didn’t speak a word of English. What drives my words, my site, my writing, is the power of relating to people. I find that many people, especially young girls, feel so alone and quite often they feel embarrassed. I want to shatter those feelings! I want them to read what I write and understand that it’s okay to be a little outside of the box, but most importantly, that it is okay to just be who they are.

Be first to comment