FROM BEING A BRIDESMAID

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 “… There is something revolting about the way girls’ minds so often jump to marriage long before they jump to love. And most of those minds are shut to what marriage really means.” — Dodie Smith

I was a bit of a tom boy growing up. I spent my extracurricular time trying to win my way as MVP, or hey lets face it Rookie of the Year, for the different sports teams i would try out for on a seasonal basis. And before I was old enough to waste an afternoon in a television daze or spend late nights chatting in acronyms to the people on my AOL buddy list (143,LOL), I would spend a lot of time with my good ol’ pals Barbie and Ken. When my friends would come over for a playdate we would end up merging our ideas for the who/what/where/why/when we wanted Barbie and Ken to act out for us that day. While my Barbie’s looked like they just walked out of an 80’s dance club with their teased hair and cut up outfits that i would use my scissors and Elmer’s glue to make, my friends Barbie’s looked as though they just came from the Spa with a nice blow dry and a manicured outfit.

I knew that my priorities, at the age of five, were different from the girls i played with when they would want to create a lavish wedding for Barbie and Ken via tiny plastic pieces and vivid imagination and I would want to send them on wild adventures to places like Niagara falls (using my kitchen sink) or climb their way up Mt. Everest (using a stack of books).

Thinking or planning or creating a book of ideas and images for what my future wedding would look like just never floated through my mind growing up. I was all about the adventure, the mis-matching of clothes and the spontaneity of trying out things that others thought were impossible. I am still the same at 23.

And I have only been to two weddings before. One when i was so young that the people getting married looked like glass figurines on display, the kind that people put on shelves to show off when company comes over to their home and the other was the 4 hour wedding spectacular special known as the Kim Kardashian Wedding on E!, that made me think that some wedding vows barely last longer than the things we painfully give up for lent.

Until this weekend, where i not only had the honor of attending my cousin’s wedding but being her Bridesmaid. Everything I had ever thought or didn’t even tempt to think about before had me understanding and appreciating the sanctity and beauty of a wedding day. I am thankful for that.

It is said that your wedding day is the most special day of your life. And if you really stop to think why that is you will realize it is more than just because you throw this beautiful party for others to come to on your behalf to eat and dance silly or because you are dressed to look your best. It is because it is a moment, possibly the only moment you may ever have, where all the treasures you have earned/found/worked for come together for a celebration.  It is a rare gift to find the one person in this world to marry you who will love you unconditionally and in such a pure way that when you find them and bring them together with the other people in your life who love you this way the aura and the energy that surrounds you is unreal and something you hope will carry you through the rest of your life.

Standing beside my Cousin’s other bridesmaids and watching her live the most special day of her life was the very moment I desperately wished to one day have this exact feeling in my own life with the person I love and the friends and family who love me, stand by my side. It is one of the most awe-inspiring and heart-grabbing feelings in the world. If you are lucky enough to have all of this than i really belive you do have it all in this lifetime.

Consequently, at my cousin’s wedding, I lifted up my arms just in time to catch the bouquet. Which means, maybe I should start thinking more about this whole  marriage/wedding thing, some day.

[IMPORTANT TIP!] As a bridesmaid, I also learned how important comfortable shoes are. I decided to wear these wild pair of black spiked heals that could barely even be seen under the fabric of my dress, yet, caused me so much pain I ended up having to whip them off after the ceremony and put on a pair of TOMS I had in my purse. Pick comfort over ‘cool’ when it comes to what you rock your feet with for weddings. You want to be able to spend the night busting out your dance moves without worrying about getting a blister every time you take a step!

I’m Jen Glantz. I’ve been a published writer for over 13 years, spilling my words into magazines (ranging from style to scuba diving), newspapers, websites and even this one time, a speech, for someone who didn’t speak a word of English. What drives my words, my site, my writing, is the power of relating to people. I find that many people, especially young girls, feel so alone and quite often they feel embarrassed. I want to shatter those feelings! I want them to read what I write and understand that it’s okay to be a little outside of the box, but most importantly, that it is okay to just be who they are.

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